Where'd You Go....

“Where’d you go?…”

Remember when
We were too young to be remembering
To young to be regretting?

And we lived reckless
Because our biggest consequence
Was getting a woopin
On the porch steps
And we knew that pain wouldn’t last



We prayed for days to go fast
The future was full of possibilities
Bringing our dreams within our grasps
And we would achieve them together
You with me
And me with you
There could be nothing better

“I miss you so…”

Who knew
Who knew that growing up
Meant growing apart
That you would push me in the light
While you got lost in the dark

I wasn’t suppose to lose you
I got you
You got me
That’s how it was suppose to be
Those blocks
They were just suppose to be games
And in games you can always quit when you done playin
Right?
You can always restart the game if you not winnin
Right?

Those gunshots scream wrong
Bullets the coroner dug out of you prove you can’t just turn the switch off and on
No matter how dangerous the game you play

You only get one life
And you didn’t survive living it reckless
Life woopin you is no small consequence
You got me
I got you
Right?

Except I wasn’t there to hold up my deal of the bargain
And that’s something I’ll always have to live with

“Seems like it’s been forever…”

Sometimes
I just close my eyes
And pretend that you’re in the room with me.
I breathe and your scent floats across the air
Swishers, big red gums and grapefruit
All wrapped up
in the body heat that surrounded me with every hug you pulled me into

Sometimes
I’ll squeeze my eyes tighter
To open my mind wider
To your presence
I can feel your closeness
Your leg pressing against mine
And shoulder bumping into me
As you call my name
Trying to get me to smile

And if God is feeling especially kind
He’ll bless me with the image of your eye
Your milk chocolate eyes
Sparkling and wide
I can see the laughter you held inside

You were the essence of happiness
The perfect relief of my sadness
You would always laugh until I laughed
The deep soul laughter that made me forget what I was even crying about

Sometimes
And this is only sometimes
I can close my eyes and
See your smile
The gift of your grin
So magnetic it always could pull me in
Out of the darkness of our world
But that is only sometimes
Most times when I close my eyes
All I can see is the darkness
That took you from me
Took your smile and your sparkle
Your laughter and your joy
Your life and your dreams
From me
That darkness you got lost in

“Where’d you go? I miss you so. Seems like it’s been forever. Since You’ve been gone…”